As a recent example, I taught a workshop for ministers on dealing with difficult people. They were seeking solutions about “service recovery,� or how to fix problems with other individuals in an acceptable manner.

During the workshop there is a point where an obvious truth must be mentioned.

I said: “Some people cannot be satisfied. You need to tell them you cannot satisfy them, and to essentially remove you from their list. And you need to suspend or remove them from your list.�

It is always at this point during the workshop when the regular group of bored conference attendees show interest. It was the same with the pastors.

They suddenly seemed intrigued and invigorated. Smiles began to appear, chatter broke out, and a simple message of relief showed on their faces. I read the clear message as: “God, what if I could get rid of this person?�

We practiced using an example from the audience. I gave them two qualifying statements: Is the problem person a first-time occurrence or recurring situation? With those who are problematic, firing decisions always meet the second condition. When I asked for an example from the audience, many hands flew up.

I chose an older pastor with what I interpreted as the most sweet, but bewildered look.

“I have a secretary at the church who has been there 20 years. Everything is in clutter,� he said. “I cannot function. What should I do?�

I asked him, “Did you tell her it needs to change?� 

He answered, “Yes, time and time again. She says she can’t.�

I said, “You should fire the secretary.�

He seemed ecstatic. I asked the audience whether they agreed. Unanimously: “Yes.�

The other examples shared were all similarly simple solutions. As we left the workshop, I suggested the pastors:

I suggest everyone take a note of those who don’t serve their team, such as those who deplete our energy and make us want to run the other way when we see them coming. Although you try to help them, you simply cannot.

Save your and their time and energy by releasing them from interacting with you.

Whether you are pastor, an administrator, a hotel manager, a student group leader, or simply a person with a long list of friends who irritate you, sometimes those you are drained by simply have no place in your life.

Serving others is also getting rid of those who are not serving you and your team.

How many people are letting the unforgivable deeds of other people stand in the way of progress or goals simply because they are too nice to confront those people? Repeated cases indicate that some people are fully aware and may be even proud of their defiance. They will smile when they talk about those deeds to others. They also suspect the person they report to is unlikely to fire them.

Every relationship problem cannot be solved. Being fed up with others is a natural way to feel, but sometimes the answer is to not interact with them at all. This is a service to them and to you.

The lessons of “service� sometimes can be harsh.

Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½ Forum columnist Denver Severt is an associate professor with the Rosen College of Hospitality Management at the Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½. He can be reached at Denver.Severt@ucf.edu.ÌýÌý

I write this in tribute to my greatest teacher from a student’s perspective. Maybe you will stop to think of a favorite teacher, mentor or role model, and perhaps even reach out and say hello to them.

Dr. Elbert V. Bowden taught at Appalachian State University, and from a piercing gaze behind large, wired glasses, the wild-haired eccentric professor enthusiastically discussed his economics course assignments, office hours, grading policy and the course’s planned 84 essays in a totally unusual way.  

And he issued this challenge: “If past performance indicates future performance, no student will earn a Bowden ‘A.’�

With no clue of what macroeconomics was, these declarations already waged war within me. Over time, the war became a voyage to take all of his courses and to earn a Bowden ‘A’.

He continued energetically: “I never answer a phone but return answers to machine messages daily starting at 2 a.m., a dull time for me for which I perform routine tasks. Turn on your answering machine if you don’t wish to speak.�

By this point in his life he had authored dozens of publications and his book, Economics, The Science of Common Sense, traveled the globe as a merchant marine during World War II, recorded country songs, earned a Ph.D. from Duke University, and changed the lives of thousands, challenging them to reach their potential. Appalachian State’s student-managed investment fund was named in his honor in 2001.

He said the lack of an ‘A’ in his class resulted from a heavy work load and his grading policy.

We had to study hard, write continuously and prepare for examinations. 

To prepare, I read, wrote, outlined, timed, and answered. I wrote essays on broad subjects in 10-minute segments creating unexpected physical and aesthetic challenges.

Tight pencil gripping brought perspiration that dropped onto the quiz sheets like dew drops on the morning grass. The water made the typical left-handed graphite smudges into puffy, irregularly bordered cloud-like rings of graphite. A soft knot formed on one of my fingers that started to bleed small droplets of blood onto the paper.

The graphite smudges, sweat, and blood mixture cast a watercolor effect upon the handwritten essay, making it an overall mess.

One week as Bowden handed out quizzes, he blasted: “Good news, there was a Bowden A on quiz 7. Is it the student with clutter behind his desk, with dreadful handwriting, who wrote a note apologizing for the blood and sweat on the quiz?�

I was purple-faced as he handed me the paper and said: “Keep it up� and “Keep the clutter to a minimum.�

I will never forget that triumphant moment.

Six courses, several Bowden ‘A’s, and a few years after graduation, I requested a letter of recommendation. He wrote: “Denver may not know his true potential,â€� “is too worried about success to see his potential,â€� ‘’is a hard worker,â€� “earned Bowden ‘A’s, never missed class.â€�

We learned fiscal policy, the multiplier effect, and so much more in these long-lasting lessons he left us with:

During my time with Bowden, I was challenged as never before – and learned that I also had a desire to teach and inspire others.

Here’s to the spirit of lifelong teaching of Dr. Elbert V. Bowden, teaching to infinity and beyond.

Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½ Forum columnist Denver Severt is an associate professor with the Rosen College of Hospitality Management at the Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½. He can be reached at Denver.Severt@ucf.edu.

Hainan is a tropical-island province and the largest vacation destination in China.

The mutual happiness, respect, and gratitude between the students and myself provided a charged and unmatched feeling of excitement. Students excelled at assignments, asked deep questions and showed an authentic desire to learn and study.

Aside from our intensive course schedule, the students invited me to dinner three times. One evening they first invited me to meet them in the park, where I was happily surprised to be playing games that involved chasing, running, and dancing. These games were like Duck, Duck, Goose and Ring Around the Rosies.

The activities allowed for the quick observation of the unique qualities of many students that may not have surfaced in a typical course. During dinner, a student asked: “What types of games do you play with your students in America?�

I replied, “I don’t and wouldn’t.� 

“Why is that?� asked the student. I said that I did not immediately know why and would get back to him on that.

Though obvious and true, I did not like this answer and felt that a possibility for a good experience, the opportunity for healthy, decompressed, connected exchange was lacking in my courses. Not a world traveler and an expert only to my personal experiences, I continued to search for my answer to that question.

During reflection, my mind landed on a conversation I had on my arrival flight with a 16-year old Chinese student from Beijing who attended a private high school in Boston.

I had asked him: “What surprised you most about studying in the USA?”

Without hesitation, he said: “The mindset or preoccupation related to sex of many students.�

Surprised by the answer, I asked: “And how is it different from what you are used to?�  

He said: “I am quite trained to keep my mind on study and have less access to these things.�  He said he had attended the top-ranked high school in Beijing and was at a high-end private Boston high school. He was hoping to differentiate himself in the application process to U.S. universities.

Before I left China, the students presented me with a notebook of appreciation filled with personal letters. Some playfully wrote in Chinese, challenging me to read it.

Later back in my Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½ office, a Chinese student was looking at one of the Chinese writings and read what one young man had written. He translated it to: “Yesterday we went to the park with the American professor. Today in class, the professor came up to me and said, ‘This young man is a leader.’ Tonight I am going to bed knowing for the first time, I am a leader.â€�

Getting back to the question I was asked in China, the answer lingered in my mind. Maybe it would seem inappropriate to play games here with students in a park or elsewhere. Maybe American students are too busy. Maybe it was even a rare situation for students and a professor to go to the park in China, yet I had confirmed that the innocent games were typically played by university students. The games were unassuming and innocent and fun.

Do other cultures preserve the innocence of children for a longer time? How do they teach and sustain the purity in the desire to learn and study? How can we sustain purity in the desire to learn and advance?

These are questions I cannot answer aside from the obvious fact that maybe comparing different groups is not appropriate, whereas in China a university experience is a privilege and perhaps in the United States it is a necessity.

Is it the advanced nature and freedom of our society that somehow also exposes too much too soon? 

I know I could not answer these questions. I reflected and wondered if perhaps my mind was too closed when trying to answer this question back in China.

But I made a determination: I can play games and maintain an openly, friendly demeanor with my American students. No matter the answer, I knew that something was vastly different in the two societies and in the games played at this age and stage of life. 

I returned to my classes with a new determination, approaching my courses and others with an invigorated and open mind to playing or singing or dancing or meeting outside the course room to extend the discussions or just to get to know each other better.

As Gandhi told us, we must be the change we want to see in the world. 

Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½ Forum columnist Denver Severt is an associate professor with the Rosen College of Hospitality Management at the Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½. He can be reached at Denver.Severt@ucf.edu.

Many times the dissatisfaction or disappointment grows with time. Studies suggest that as many seven out of 10 customers silently walk away dissatisfied with products and services.

And a typical unhappy customer tells 10 to 14 people about the experience, resulting in a negative ripple effect for the company.  Since word of mouth is a powerful source of expectations for other customers, the spreading of personal complaints is dangerous and could potentially destroy a business.

The others who were told the story will likely repeat it and are likely to avoid the business.

Because only a relatively small number of product and service failures are known, many companies have unrealistic, elevated views of the service they deliver. Many refer to this as the “iceberg effect� of business performance. In this case, the business is a ship headed toward an unknown iceberg.

The tip of the berg is the reported and detected product and/or service failures. The unseen part represents the total of all silently dissatisfied guests who tell others and intend not to return to the business.

For example, here are some of my personal experiences of silent dissatisfaction that I tell people about: 

The restaurant

I walked into my first visit at a reputable restaurant and was asked: “Did you have a reservation? “No,� I replied. The hostess, with an almost empty restaurant, looked at her book, scratched off a table and replied, “Just one?�

Wondering why she characterized it as “just� one, I nodded. After being seated, I proceeded to order the $29 rib eye with asparagus and rice instead of the french fries. No bread was delivered while I was waiting for the entrée, and when the steak was delivered it was served with asparagus and…fries.

Every time I tried to cut the steak – an average quality, thin 10-oz. cut – the very narrow and frail fork bent. The bending of the fork was the tipping point for this encounter. I silently left after I paid. 

The endodontist

Upon referral from a dentist and nudged by pain, I booked an appointment with an endodontist for a root canal. After I arrived, the hostess with a neckline that was inappropriately low for a dental office processed my papers and placed me in line.

Once my name was called, I was ushered to an enthusiastic team. They seemed professional, had a clean office, and the technicians were friendly, all making me confident in their ability. The endodontist explained the process and then administered a shot for numbing. After a couple minutes, the technician said, “Please come with me.� I was led to the front desk, where the receptionist said, “Your total today will be $750. How will you pay?�

Stunned at the odd timing for payment, I went to my car for my checkbook, though I thought of leaving. I returned to pay them, however, and was taken back to the original chair where the procedure was finished – almost. Upon leaving, I was told by the endodontist that a hole remained in the tooth that the dentist must fill within 30 days or the root canal would have been in vain. I left quietly. Don’t most professional businesses finish what they are trying to fix before you pay?

The hospital discharge

Not every hospital discharge is something to congratulate. A friend of mine was told he would be discharged in two days and placed in the care of Hospice. That is an organization that takes care of terminally ill patients in their end stages.

On the day prior to the discharge, I went to the hospital to visit. When I went to the desk to find out my friend’s room number, the receptionist looked up and said: “Congratulations, your friend has been sent home a day early!�

Congratulations?!?!? In this case, “I’m sorry� would have been the correct response instead of “Congratulations.�

To avoid the iceberg, companies need an effective system of detection and recovery for product and service failures. Once a problem is detected, a recovery attempt should be launched to correct the situation. A service/product recovery attempt that is responsive, sincere, apologetic, and restores value to the customer experience can create good news and loyalty. 

Studies indicate that some customers are even more satisfied with a company after a successful recovery from a service or product failure. Some call this the recovery paradox, and satisfaction results because of the company’s ability to fix mistakes. 

Because of this, product and service failures are not usually horrific as long as they are detected and fixed. This garners trust as it shows the consumer how the business behaves when something goes wrong.

So the next time you are disappointed in a product or service, do yourself a favor as a customer: Tell the company and give them a chance to fix the mistake.

Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½ Forum columnist Denver Severt is an associate professor with the Rosen College of Hospitality Management at the Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½. He can be reached at Denver.Severt@ucf.edu.

So how can we ensure that when something succeeds, it is repeated? And how do we make sure that when something goes wrong it is fixed and the poor design is changed to prevent it from happening again? Or when the problem is beyond repair, how do we make the most of the distasteful service experience?

As a researcher, teacher, keynote speaker and service management consultant, I have the opportunity to walk deeply into the field of service. The walk offers a chance to wear my “service glasses,� which provides greater understanding of situations. Maybe what these “discerning eyes of service� see can help consumers, business owners and service providers.

The discerning eyes of service are not judging. They simply see service unfold in millions of steps similar to a slow-motion film scene. This clears and magnifies service like a dissection. The new magnified sight reveals opportunities for what I call the philosophy of Doing Better Than That, or DBT² for short.

Though service engineering and design are essential, the root of service is based on personal experiences. Studying personal experience and the engineered systems together help forge improvement. Typically we judge what we receive based on some moment, experience, advertisement or past event. If the current product or service improves from the past standard, that creates a genuine transformational-service experience of DBT².

Some personal examples of DBT² enhancing service:

Service situations vary greatly due to the people, process, and product value of the service experience. Experts can create service systems, but what produces  a transformational-service experience is discretionary innovation on the part of the service personnel working along with the system. Usually, DBT² experiences are not costly to the business and include simple discretionary actions. For example, the way Shirley welcomed me to Bojangles’.

DBT² service is linked to a more productive economy and a better functioning world. For the business entity, the service provides a large return to the company by transforming a returning consumer into another payment for the business. For consumers, DBT² experiences improve and enhance life through making transactions and interactions enjoyable, hassle-free, and a value enhancement.

DBT² experiences will keep you returning to wonderful greetings and more chicken biscuits for breakfast, and to humming vacuums for a stress-free clean car. They will let you witness random acts like that of Henry. And for those situations that may not be pleasurable business visits, you will seek those who understand skillful orchestration of care.

For service providers, it is always necessary to ask: What could we do today to allow someone to experience a transformational DBT² service experience?

For everyone in general, try the discerning eyes of service and see how you can improve DBT² in your own acts, opportunities and deeds.

Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½ Forum columnist Denver Severt is an associate professor with the Rosen College of Hospitality Management at the Â鶹ӳ»­´«Ã½. He can be reached at Denver.Severt@ucf.edu.