One day on my way to work, I waited at a green light while another car crossed the intersection after the light had obviously turned red for that driver. And I thought to myself: Why are you so special that the rest of us have to wait?

I’m sure everyone has experienced this.

We‘ve been cut off in traffic, bumped at the end of the grocery aisle, or even had a derogatory remark sent our way, all because people often don’t have manners anymore. Common courtesy seems to be out the window and people are oblivious to anyone other than themselves.

I tried to put a date on when our society changed, but that date obviously is vague.

We used to hold doors open for each other, smile at strangers and wave at our neighbors. In my parents’ time, friends and neighbors borrowed tools or baking ingredients from each other and had block parties to catch up and socialize. Today, if I smile at a stranger I am often met with a disconcerting look, as if I have some sinister motive. And that just makes me sad.

So how do we get society to regain manners? How do we begin to care about strangers as much as we care about ourselves?

When I did a quick internet search, I found a lot of articles addressing the loss of manners in our society. Some said that the breakdown of family was the cause. Others pointed to technology and our need for instant gratification. Still others discussed reality TV and what has now become acceptable as cultural norms.

Maybe we don’t need manners and we should just get what we can for ourselves, and who cares about everyone else? I’m sure we wouldn’t agree that’s the answer.

What is the point of manners anyway? As cultural and social historian, , so eloquently put it: Manners are meant to “illuminate and respect the human experience.” When our care and concern or just basic civility extends no farther than the tip of our nose, society completely breaks down. Who cares for those that can’t care for themselves?

Manners make us look past ourselves and to others. They make us think about our words and actions and how they will effect or be perceived by others. And to me, a little self-reflection is never a bad thing.

The key is starting at the beginning, with the social interactions of our youngest members of society. We grown-ups have to be the example. Children see and hear everything and they are great imitators. Many of the good or bad habits children have, they’ve learned from the adults around them.

So, we need to set the standard. We need to care about doing the right thing, the courteous thing, even if the next person isn’t. We can influence the next generation to have manners, only if we have them ourselves.

Kim Nassoiy is associate director of �鶹ӳ����ý’s Creative School for Children. She can be reached at Kimberly.Nassoiy@ucf.edu.

I hear all the time about couples going through divorce and I think why? And it’s not just couples breaking up. I’ve seen parents and children, siblings or dear friends have a falling out and not speak for years, if ever again.

What makes us turn away from people who are the very center of our worlds?

I understand there are situations where we have to cut ties with a person. Perhaps we are in an unhealthy relationship and need to distance ourselves from someone for our own emotional or physical well-being. That is different and not the kind of relationship I mean. I’m speaking to the basic give and take and life struggles that happen and effect our relationships.

I think, in part, we have to examine the changes in our society. We are definitely a hurried and throw-away culture. If something requires extra work or time, we often really aren’t interested. We tend to want to make a fast buck and get immediate gratification. If something is broken, we don’t try to fix it. We simply throw it away and buy a new one.

This philosophy seems to have carried over into our relationships.

There is also the belief that we should be happy, no matter what. Now, don’t get me wrong, I want to be happy as much as the next person, but the shift that has taken place is that many people say: “I deserve happiness; I’m entitled to it at any cost.”

Part of this philosophy encompasses the belief that the people in our lives should make us happy. I hate to burst that bubble, but that is not their job to keep us happy all the time. We first have to be happy with ourselves and who we are.

Others can increase our joy, for sure, but they aren’t responsible for it.

The bottom line is relationships are not a one-sided, what’s-in-it-for-me undertaking.

Like anything else of value in life, they require work. A lot of the work isn’t even really hard, and oftentimes it’s downright fun. It’s building each other up, communicating with each other, lending a helping hand, spending time together and supporting each other.

Sometimes it is hard work, like apologizing, compromising, conceding or even putting someone else’s needs before our own. In the end, these things make us a better person. They make us someone worth fighting for.

And in life’s struggles, sometimes that’s what it will take to keep a relationship going – fighting the good fight, because the other person is worth it.

Kim Nassoiy is associate4director of �鶹ӳ����ý’s Creative School for Children. She can be reached at Kimberly.Nassoiy@ucf.edu.

I have a son and daughter, now in their 20s. From the moment I found out I was expecting, the joy of having a new life to love and cherish was overwhelming. Each step of the way—hearing the heartbeat, seeing the sonogram, picking out names and preparing their rooms—only made me fall more in love. I remember holding each of them for the first time and feeling that fierce mama bear protectiveness.

Through the years, I have given up sleep, meals and personal time to devote my life to them. I have driven hours to watch a 10-minute band show, volunteered time supporting their activities, and supplied snacks and drinks for every sport you can name.

When I look back, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Being at all the practices, shows and games, even the basketball tournament on Mother’s Day, showed my children they were my priority. I learned this from my own parents, who supported my brother, sister and me in everything we did.

I will admit, at the time I felt spread pretty thin. I felt like I couldn’t do it all and maybe I wasn’t doing it well. We may have eaten too much pizza, although my nurse friend said pizza covers a lot of the food groups. My house could have never passed the white-glove test and don’t get me started on the state of my car. I was lucky to make sure oil changes were not too overdue.

The funny thing is, I may have felt like I could have done more, but my children didn’t.

Now that they are adults and we talk about their childhood, they assure me that I did things right. I was always there for them and supported their interests. Their desire was to be loved unconditionally and for me to be present in their lives.

All the adult priorities, like a clean car or gourmet dinner, were of no significance to them.

Now I’m getting a second chance at this parenting thing with my stepson, who’s 10. I feel more confident in the strategies I use and the choices I make to help him be successful in school and life. I bounce ideas off my kids to see what helped them and what didn’t.

I even got his vote of confidence one day when he told me: “You get me.” I can’t do much better than that.

So to all the parents out there just beginning the journey or deep in the trenches: Hang in there. Love on your kids and be there for them. It is a short time from the toddler years to high school graduation and you don’t want to miss a thing.

Kim Nassoiy is the interim director of �鶹ӳ����ý’s Creative School for Children. She can be reached at Kimberly.Nassoiy@ucf.edu.

I have studied the research and know how children learn best. Yet, I watch curriculums and policies being written that stifle the learning of our youngest citizens in preschool. They are being asked to learn things beyond their capabilities. Teachers are being asked to teach things that are not developmentally appropriate. There seems to be no stopping the sometimes misguided “machine” that seeks to theoretically turn children into the best and the brightest.

Many would ask, “Why is this a problem?”

We want our children to be successful in school and life. Getting children on the right path to success is where the discrepancies begin. Many believe that preschools should be teaching children to read, write and perform basic math skills. Parents want to see handouts done during the day and even ask if there is homework for the children. These things have very little meaning to children.

Play is work to children. They want to use their senses to discover and explore. They want to figure out what something does or how it can be used. Think of it as “biology with a lab.” They don’t even want an adult’s help.

For those of you with children or who work with them, you know this to be true. Children are often saying to their adults: “No” or “I can do it myself.”

Through play, children develop a love of learning. They are the facilitators of their own education. This is essential to becoming a lifelong learner.

In a perfect world, children and adults would have the opportunity to learn through exploration. Most knowledge, however, is still passed by lectures and rote memorization, which does not build critical thinking skills.

As the late Stanford Professor Paul Hurd said: “Too many facts, too little conceptualizing, too much memorizing, and too little thinking.”

A recent Psychology Today article, “The Emerging Crisis in Critical Thinking,” addressed the deficit in problem-solving skills in today’s college students. These students are the babies of the ’90s “baby genius” push. Educators used flashcards with infants and toddlers and spent more time on rote learning than letting them play.

Children spent little time discovering and failing at tasks, which teach persistence and resilience. The opportunities to fail and try again were missed, which are crucial to learning and brain development.

All the research supports what early childhood teachers know: It is time to get back to the basics.

Let the children play. Let them love learning and become the educators of tomorrow.

Kim Nassoiy is associate director of �鶹ӳ����ý’s Creative School for Children. She can be reached at Kimberly.Nassoiy@ucf.edu

I am forced outside, seeking a breeze, but I have found a certain peace, as well. I live in rural east Orange County and am surrounded by green forests and pasture lands. While I might prefer to view this from the comfort of my air-conditioned house, I need the view nonetheless.

Research abounds now regarding the healing power of green spaces.

Whether it is to alleviate symptoms in children with sensory issues or ADHD or to improve mental fatigue in adults, researchers are recommending more time in the outdoors. Children can improve their physical health, as well as their ability to focus and develop executive functioning skills. While research shows decreased rates of heart disease, stroke and depression in adults. Both children and adults who spend time outside have better coping skills for stressful situations. Researchers acknowledge the change in the sedentary American lifestyle in the past four to five decades and the rise of these health conditions.

As we spend more time on work and school, we spend less time on leisure activities. When we do relax, our leisure times more often find us inside watching TV, playing video games and using our electronics.

I am not an opponent of technology. I enjoy the usefulness and entertainment as much as the next person.

However, when I was a child, my recreation time involved playing outside with my neighbors and siblings. There was always a game of kickball, hide-and-seek or freeze tag to be found. If no one was around, we might ride bikes or climb trees.

Sitting inside the house was not a fun option. We were imagining, risk-taking and problem-solving – and needed the outdoors for this to happen.

Many of today’s children have lost the wonder of being outside, running free and exploring. Their green spaces are few. Homes are bigger; yards are smaller.

At �鶹ӳ����ý’s Creative School for Children, for pupils up to age 5, the staff tries to counteract this growing disconnect between children and nature. The school is committed to using the natural world as a component of learning by offering outside activities along with classroom programs.

Outside, the children can discover and explore at a variety of interactive elements such as butterfly and vegetable gardens, nature art, movement, climbing, and a dirt-digging and “messy materials” area. The school last year was certified as a Nature Explore Classroom along with more than 320 other programs around the country.

And as adults, we still want natural spaces. Otherwise, conservation lots – that help preserve an area’s natural beauty and minimize the impact of development – wouldn’t be sold for a premium. Builders are adding community parks to neighborhood designs, but are we using them? Children, and adults alike, need to spend time outdoors. Take advantage of these opportunities.

It will do us all a little good to be in a green space and slow life down. My hope is that you, too, will experience the tranquility of nature.

Kim Nassoiy is the interim director of �鶹ӳ����ý’s Creative School for Children. She can be reached at Kimberly.Nassoiy@ucf.edu.